God-Gazer

God gazing

Hi Everyone,

A massive thank you to everyone who has commented so positively on this poem, which I wrote recently. Feel free to download it and do what you want with it.

God bless you all - if you want to check out the charity that I lead and what we do, then click

here

-you can make an enquiry about me preaching there to, which many of you have been asking me about by text or email.

God bless you all

Malcolm Duncan 

God-Gazer

I want to be a God-gazer,

captured by the brilliance

that springs from the radiance

of You.

I want to be a God-gazer!

Not a cheap food grazer

or an easy option lazer.

I want to be a trail-blazer

for the ordinary, everyday life.

I want to be a God-gazer -

not just copying the halcyon ways

that shimmer brighter in the haze

of by-gone rays and the good old days.

I want to be a God-gazer!

Looking beyond the trappings of success,

cutting through the stucco of respectability

like a laser piercing darkness.

I want to be a God-gazer!

Reaching for the stars and

seeing beauty in the moment by

becoming fluent in the language

of the God Who is here, Who is now.

I want to be a God-gazer

until my imagination is saturated;

until my thirst is sated;

until my passion is stirred;

until my intellect is stretched

as far as it can be;

until my yearning yearns

for others to be free.

I want to be a God-gazer -

not a meetings manager

or a people pleaser

or a 'tea and sympathy' vicar -

not a leadership trainer,

not just a speaker

but a seeker.

I want to be a God-gazer...

and for a moment I want God

to gaze through me.

I want others to see

His eyes

Heart

Mind

and Love

above everything else in me.

I want to be a God-gazer

captured by the brilliance

that springs from the radiance

of You.

Life-giver!

I want to be a Life-giver

not a life-sucker.

I want my life to be releasing

not appeasing or placating.

I want to be a Life-giver,

A drainpipe without blockages,

A circuit without stoppages,

A connector without breakages.

I want to be a Life-giver!

A 'you can do it' releaser,

A 'have a go' preacher,

A 'you were born to do this' pastor.

I want to be a Life-giver -

Seeing rivers flow, not die,

Seeing others rise and fly,

Helping friends reach for the stars

even if they sometimes miss.

At least they can say they tried.

I want to be a Life-giver,

Generous in spirit and in heart,

Letting the forgotten make a start

at being Life-givers, too.

I want to be a Life-giver

because I am a God-gazer

not because it's about me

but because it's about Him

because life can't spring

from any other 'thing'.

I want to be a Life-giver

connected to the Source

and pointing to the Son -

standing in the shadow of the Light

celebrating Him.

World-changer.

I want to be a World-changer

not just a furniture re-arranger

or an 'it could be better' winger

or a 'have the left overs' stinger.

I want to be a World-changer!

A doer, not just a talker.

I want to spread the clothes of heaven,

No more or less than a poor man's dreams,

beneath the feet of Jesus.

I want to be a World-changer -

'Cos on a morning many winters ago

the tomb was open

and the curse was broken.

Death had to let go

and re-creation burst out

of an old wineskin

like water from a geyser,

Like the cry of a child

pushed into the world

and nothing

would shut Him up.

I want to be a World-changer

because it's started...

because the vanguards on the move...

and love is pushing out hate

and light is shining out

and darkness can't understand it

beat it

change it

hide it

kill it

stop it

win.

I want to be a World-changer

because there's safety in this danger.

There's meaning in this purpose.

There's joy in this mission

and too many others are missing

the power of life in all its fullness.

World-changer? Life-giver? God-gazer.

God, break in - then break out

Fill - then make me leak.

Plug me in and push me out.

In me, through me, around me.

Make me a Patrick.

Make me a Brendan.

God-gazing, life-giving, world-changing.

Captured by the brilliance

that springs from the radiance

of You.

Malcolm Duncan

January 2010

(c) Malcolm Duncan

For more info, please contact malcolm@churchandcommunity.org

What does Copenhagen have to do with Jerusalem?

Examining roots

What does 'Advent' have to do with Climate Change? To put it another way and to borrow an analogy from a Church Father - what does Copenhagen have to do with Jersualem? To understand the connection, we need to first understand Advent.

Advent is no longer noticed - let alone observed! The season of longing, yearning and repentance has been replaced by an ever earlier marketting strategy for Christmas. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE Christmas and look forward to it every year - but I also love advent. I don't like Christmas beginning at the end of October, though! I don;t think we have banished advent just because of commercialism, though - I think Christians have become so secularised that we have abandoned the challenge of advent.

This isn't the fault of tele-evangelists and pedlers of cheap, easy religion and a 'come to Jesus and He'll do whatever you want, whenever you need Him to' mentality. I don't want to have a 'pop' at the gifts and the lights and the family feel of Christmas - and I don't want to sound like a charismatic 'scrouge' bemoaning the society I am part of. Far from it - I thinl the reason we have largely ditched advent is because we don't understand it anymore.

What is Advent?

Some clues might be found in one of the figures that is associated with it - John the Baptist. 'Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand' he thunders (Matthew 3:2). Mark says John 'appeared' in the wilderness preaching a baptism of repentance and forgiveness of sins. when John was thrown in jail, Jesus also is noted this way, 'From that time on Jesus began to preach, saying, 'Repent, for the Kingdom of heaven is at hand' (Matthew 4:17). Jesus also told his disciples to preach the same thing.

Advent, it seems to me, is much more about reflection and repentance and vulnerability than Christmas. Advent is about renewal and honesty in and about ourselves, in the light of Christ's promised return. But we shouldn't turn 'repentance' of John's sort into a purely private matter - it's about a whole creation being brought back into right relationship with and right order before God. John is clear about the reason for this repentance - God's Kingdom is coming, God is sorting things out (eschatology for those who want a big word before supper!) John is like an old fashioned watchman warning people, princes and principalities and powers that the coming of the Lamb of God signifies the beginning of the end for a crumbling order of selfishness, greed and pride. He is giving notice of war with sin - personal, communal and corporate.

Advent, therefore, is perhaps one of the most political seasons of the Christian year - and this year the Copenhagen Summit on climate change happens right in the middle of it.

Our faliure to understand this season is connected with our lack of understanding of the connection between the First Coming of Christ and the Second Advent. Persistent quietism of pastors, preachers an teachers about the Second Coming has led to a detached and hostile approach to the world and our place in it. We have departed from the biblical narrative of a redeemed and renewed earth which will be finalised and completed by Christ at His return but was begun when He first came - leaving us the exciting role of being 'inbetweeners' - people who live in the glorious rays of the first coming and the clear hope of the second with the commission to be kingdom bringers. Instead, we like to think of a departure, a leaving behind the rotten world and its mess and living somewhere 'out there'  free from all responsibility of care for the planet. Of course such simplistic theology is amplified through teh speakers of series such as 'Left Behind' novels and preachers whose passion is to pinpoint a date for departure rather than remind us of the responsibility to serve, invest and spend ourselves for the people around us and the planet which God has entrusted to us. Perhaps the greatest criticism of much of the church in the 20th and 21st century will be the absolute failure of most of us to take our responsibilities for the planet and its people seriously enough. The one God called to be stewards have become squanderers.

As a result, we have allowed the powerful influence of the promised return of Christ to be hijacked by quacks, astrologers, and weird cults and theories (some within the 'church). The connection between the two advents needs to be re-discovered - and in doing so we re-discover something of our own calling and direction.

In the comings of Jesus (first and second) the nations, principalities and powers and judged - and defeated, by God's Word to us. In Christ's lordship all of the earth and all of the heavens and everything else is rendered accountable. A response from us to the state of the world is not requested by Christ - the advents demand it. To quote John 'bear fruit that befit repentance.'

Another key figure in Advent is Mary. Her words are even more political than John

He has put down the mighty from their thrones and has exalted those of low degree; He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away enpty (Luke 1:52-54)

Climate change is largely man made and its injustice means that the squandering of the rich and powerful has forced the poor and dispossessed to suffer even more. We are answerable to the Returning King for this travesty and complete reversal of the purpose and message of the coming of Christ - and He will ask us why we did not respond to His Word.

In the first advent, Christ the Lord comes into the world, in the next advent, Christ the Lord comes as Judge of all the world, its thrones, powers, kings, prime ministers, politicans, pretenders, sovereigns, dominions, principalities, authorities, presidencies, regimes, scientists, philosophers and people. What a travesty if we, His people, end up in the place where we ignore His teaching on our responsibilities. He comes as the God of creation - but He also comes as the God of History - the God who sees and knows all things.

This is what our society (and perhaps even we as His followers) re-act against - yet it is the hope that should keep us going and hold light before us as the world 'melts' - but we must remember that we live between two advents.

God help us to be sensible in Copenhagen and view it in the glaring light not only of Bethlehem, where Your Son was born, but also Jersualem, where He died and one day will stand again.

Been to the doctor

Hi Everyone,

Just a quick update. Been to see the consultant this morning. All seems okay. The operation scar is healing very well - with minimal thicening in the area around the site of the operation on the vocal chord. I have too see them again in around eight weeks because they need to keep an eye on my voice and on the vocal chords themselves - and are doing some additional tests on the material they removed - but all seems to be well and there is nothing to panic or worry about at the moment. I will also need quite a bit of speech therapy - and they are telling me to be VERY careful in the use of my voice. Overall, positive news though - and a real answer to prayer.

I can speak wuite well with limited volume and strength now - and am permitted to do some speaking but not a lot. So as long as I am well amplified, avoid getting too excited (!) and promise not to either whipser or raise my voice (both are equally bad!!!) I will be able to do some chairing of meetings, and a little teaching and preaching between now and the end of the year. I am also on track to honour my preaching engagements from January 1st onward - but I do need to be very cvareful not to strain or overuse my voice (!)

Apparently speech therapists are one of the most pressured resoures in the NHS at the moment and therefore the wait to see one is severe. My case is marked as urgent and yet still means a wait of around two - three months. In the meantime I am released to speak - but very carefully and avoiding strain and overuse.

Thank you

Thank you so much for your prayers and support. As I continue down this road, I rejoice in the wonderful, wonderful grace of God and love of His people. Couldn't have made the journey without you all - you are a blessing.

Blog entries.

Loads of you have encouraged me to continue to use the blog and update it - so I have a bit of a suggestion for you about an online community for prayer, reflection and discipleship. I'd post something for discussion, prayer and reflection once a week, with a daily encouragement, devotion or reflection to fit the theme - then we'd relfect, share, discuss, pray and hopefully grow - would you be interested? Let me know...

Saying Sorry.

Kevin Rudd has done it again - and I believe is to be commended for it. Today, at Parliament House, the Australian PM apologised to the 'Forgotten Aurtalians' for the pain inflicted on them by tortuous and abusive treatment when they were forcibly moved to Australia over forty years ago. All indications are that the British PM, Gordon Brown, will apologise in the New Year - a move which was made easier today by the first stage of the process taking place - a visit to the British High Commission by some of the survivors. When Rudd came to office he also issued a national apology to the Aboriginies - another brave and welcome move. Last week, Gordon Brown apologised to Mrs Janes for the way she had been hurt by his letter to her after her son Jamie Janes, death in Afghanistan. Mrs Janes was (in my view) shamelessly and cruelly manipulated by The Sun newspaper - but no apology from them?

Why do we so often find it hard to apologise? Is it because we have created a society and culture where acceptance of making a mistake equates to admission of weakness? And why is it that we expect out leaders to be perfect? I think the ability to accept when you get it wrong and to learn from it is an indication of a growth in maturity and leadership ability - not a bar from leadership. We often call for apologies from our leaders, then we get them, cry out that their mistakes make them unfit to lead. Why? Which human being hasn't made a mistake? Which one of us grows without failing? I know I don't.

Maybe we find apologies hard because we feel like we always have to get it right. Maybe we find them hard because we actually belief we never make mistakes! Maybe we find them hard, though, because we have allowed ourselves to fall into the trap of thinking failure is fatal.  If it is, then we are all doomed. Failing to learn is fatal - and if we have created a culture (politically, socially, educationally or spiritually) where we disdain faliure and turn our backs on those who get it wrong, then we would have barred some of the greatest and most wonderful men and women from ever acheiving. This isn't just a sociological or political point - it's a deeply theological one too. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, David, Hezekiah, Moses, Paul, Peter, Andrew, Mary Magdalene, Euodia, Syntache - the list is endless. People who have never failed have never lived.

I don't need to look too far down my own history and track record to see mistakes and failures. But if we let them, every one will make us better people - more able to lead, stronger, clearer and with increased integirty. Apologies may be bad for our egos - but maybe what is bad for our ego is sometimes good for our soul? I'd rather have a leader who was able to say sorry when it mattered than a leader who never felt the need to say sorry at all. But maybe we are to blame for the fear of apologies (both within and outwith the Church) after all, cultures and moods are not created by others - they are created (and maintained) by us.

All this apology thinking got me thinking too - and led me to some pretty challenging questions. What could or should we, as a nation, apologise for? Our role in crusades? The Highland clearances? The failure to support the Irish in the Great famine? The way we marginalise some asylum seekers? Exploitation of an underclass? Bloody Sunday? Miscarriages of justice? We could debate all those things till the cows come home.

What about the Church? Have we anything to say sorry for? Exclusivity? Behaving like a club for the privileged few instead of a family for the forgotten? Failing to practise what we preach? Ignoring the cries of the poor in our communities? Self-righteous aggrandisement of our own little empires at the expense of God's Kingdom? Talking about Jesus but not living like Him? Permitting discipleship to become something that we think we learn in our heads without it affecting our wallets and hands and feet? Again, the list could go on and on.

But perhaps the most important question - the greatest challenge we have to face is not the question of governments, national identities and the responsibilities of 'The Church' but the piercing question that we are each confronted with in the darkness of the night and the cold light of dawn - in what ways have I failed to love God with all my heart and mind soul and strength and my neighbour as myself. The journey toward a  genuinely open approach to apologies, repentance and humility doesn't start somewhere else, I think. It starts in my heart.

The beauty of the ordinary.

Dearest Friends,

The last eleven days have seen my in silence and contemplation and prayer, with words returning slowly. In that time, you have sustained me with your prayers, your love and your kindness. Debbie and I are so very grateful to you all for your wonderful support. People from across the world, from churches we are currently involved in and have associations with through the years, have all shown their support. It has been humbling, encouraging and exhilarating to have seen Christ, met with Him and be changed by Him in your ordinary acts of kindness. Love shown from five continents and in simple and profound ways - a thousand thank you's to you all.

From this evening, I may not be writing on the blog every night - but I will continue to to write. You may see more of what I often put on here - comments on the political landscape, issues of justice, comments on poverty and observations about mission and engaging with the world, but I will also continue to write prayers, reflections and simple observations. Please let me know if they have been of help - or if you would like me to continue. Thanks for the emails, facebook comments, texts, calls and cards. Maybe m simple observations have helped you in a small way.

I was in one of the churches that I lead today, and unable to be in the other. It was a joy and a privilege to be with folk at The Chapel as we witnessed another baptism, but I was very sad not to be with my Warham family - and missed them. However, tomorrow will see me returning to work and pushing on with a great many things that have had to be put on hold in these last few weeks. Public speaking remains a challenge, but I am trusting that when I see the consultant on Thursday he will give me a better idea of when I can preach again - I'm hoping I will be able to preach again by Christmas.
 

The Ordinary.

There are many lessons that this time has taught me - and I am sure those lessons will 'eek' out of me in the the months and years to come - but today I contined my practise from across the last ten days of praying individually for all those in the churches that I lead and the people with whom I have had close connection this year. It has been such a joy - and an honour.  As I have prayed for you - people that God has brought across my path, I have imagined 'cameos' of you in ordinary events and occurences. Time we have chatted after services, enjoyed a coffee together, looked at the Scriptures with one another. I have remembered 'ordinary' days - days that we all have, when we have wept together, laughed together and learned from one another. I get the privilege of teaching you, of opening Scripture to help and encourage you to draw close to God. As a pastor, and a leader, I have the honour and privilege of sharing precious and private moments with many of you - rites of passage that are an open door into who you really are.

Yet as I have prayed for you, I have been so blessed, so encouraged, so inspired that I have found myself thanking God that far from me ministering to you, you have each ministered to me so powerfully and so strongly in your ordinary lives, and ordinary acts of kindness, and in your ordinary faithfulness and love for Christ. You may never grace a stage, or preach a sermon or stand before an audience of people, but you have taught me. You have led me to more intimacy with Christ. My debt to you is much, much greater than your debt to me - and for whatever length of time we walk the path of faith together, I count it a privilege as an ordinary man to have been touched by the beauty, wonder and transfiguring grace of God displayed through your lives and words and actions.

God bless